White Knuckle Abstinence

Ideally, we move forward and take positive steps toward our goals by visioning the future and excitedly doing what it takes to get there. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work. Sometimes we let life – or fear – get in the way even when the vision is compelling and glorious!

In 12-Step recovery, the phrase, “white knuckle abstinence” means doing whatever it takes to steer clear of our substance of choice whether that be alcohol, drugs, overeating, under eating, or gambling. This can be unpleasant and hard – yet possible with the help of supportive sponsors, meetings, inspirational readings.

What does “white knuckle abstinence” look like around vision work, around living a fulfilling, purposeful, passionate life? I think it is another tool in our tool box. Perhaps it’s the sledge hammer which may not do the prettiest work but does do something! Maybe it’s the hand saw when we really need a chain saw yet again, it moves us forward. Maybe it is an accountability partner. Maybe it’s getting up 15 minutes early each day to exercise – kicking and screaming all the way – but doing it.

If you’ve been stuck in a rut or backsliding on your dreams, ask yourself:

What would a dose of White Knuckle Abstinence look like?

What’s Not Being Said?

Growth, creativity, expansion into all we can be doesn’t come from reporting what we know or sharing what we’ve done. Far more vital, especially in the context of a coaching session, is this: What’s not being said?

Begin to notice what you leave unspoken at work, at home, with friends and with your coach. What thoughts do you dismiss? What emotions do you stuff? What energy is moving through your body that you are trying to ignore? What are you afraid to speak aloud?

What happens when you acknowledge it?

Multitasking

They say we can’t do it – multitasking – that is. The human brain truly focuses on only one thing at a time. Imagine yourself fully engaged in “just this moment” or “just this activity”:

  • Now I am lighting this candle.
  • Now I am creating this tidbit.
  • Now I am taking a drink of coffee.
  • Now all of my attention is with this person on the phone

What would be possible in each now moment? What richness would we notice? What would it feel like to be fully present now? Today, take the “now moment challenge” and practice directing all of your attention to “this one thing”. Just practice. Even as I’ve been writing, my attention has wavered so practice I will!

What power is present in full focus?

Lesson from Oz

While there are many things to learn from The Wizard of Oz, I’d like to invite you into just one for today. Do you remember Miss Gulch, the bicycle riding, mean, old hag? She had every intention of confiscating Dorothy’s dog, Toto, and had the “rules of the law” to support her. This, of course, crushed Dorothy.

Now think about Dorothy’s dog, Toto. I see childlike energy and determination, ignoring the rules, and “going after life”! And Dorothy had every intention of keeping Toto close to her chest at all times.

What voice in you sounds like Miss Gulch?
What inner voice is that of Toto?
What power have you given to Miss Gulch?
How does your inner Toto energize you?
What helps you embrace, engage with, expand, and celebrate your inner Toto?

Self-Management

Do you ever find yourself totally distracted? You are doing “it” but your mind is somewhere else? Beyond the fact that you are likely not as effective at “it” as you might be (no, there really is no such thing as multi-tasking!), you are also missing out on life itself, missing out on what is REALLY here in this moment. 

Here are a few ideas to help you be more present to your life, to practice self-management: Continue reading “Self-Management”