I heard this many times over the years from my husband as director of a non-profit:
It’s all about relationship!
And his aim was always to put listening, trust building, connecting — relationship — first. Relationship — before discussing treatment plans, performance issues, stuff that needed to be done.
Last week at the Fox Valley Literacy Council celebration of achievement gala, I heard it again. Continue reading “It’s all about relationship!”
I’ve done more harm by the falseness of trying to please than by the honesty of trying to hurt. ~ Jessamyn West, writer
This quotation hit me today as I was about to journal. It seems to speak to the codependency so many suffer from. This “trying to please” isn’t about doing something kind; rather, it is about changing “me” so as not to displease “you”. Jessamyn suggests that this form of hurting others is far more pervasive than intending to cause harm “honestly”. For example: Continue reading “Where are you a people-pleaser?”
WARNING: Today’s topic is meant to wake you up – jar you a bit – invite you into a deeper level of responsibility for how you show up in the world. Proceed with courage!
Think about a time when you have done something you didn’t want to, perhaps resentfully or grudgingly. Or, recall a time when you were physically present but emotionally and spiritually, perhaps even mentally, “out to lunch”. Or, what about those times when your reason for doing “it” was all about what you would gain – perhaps business or recognition? If it weren’t for the benefits, you so would NOT be there!
Now, think about a time when you’ve been with someone else whose energy was at a disconnect from their “good” actions. Continue reading ““Come From” Energy”
Have you ever experienced a conversation where you can’t get a word in edgewise? When I’ve been on the receiving end of one, it has felt like someone turned on the hose in the person speaking and its full force is directed at me! It doesn’t feel good. Seems to me this is like “direct current or DC” electricity where power flows in one direction.
It would seem that AC, alternating current, is better, yes?
Well – that depends. Continue reading “AC/DC – What is your communication style?”
Recently, some American journalists traveled to North Korea and were assigned a tour guide for the duration of the visit. The guide denied many of their requests for sightseeing and talking with the locals. They were forced to spend much of their time in the hotel!
It occurred to me that, at times in my life, I have had a “Korean tour guide” living in my head, telling me things like:
You can’t … because it’s not allowed.
Don’t go there, it’s not safe.
Don’t do that, you’ll fail.
Don’t ask questions.
Many such messages began as well-meant guidance from parents, teachers and loved ones. I heeded them and they protected me. As time wore on, however, Continue reading “Do you have a Korean tour guide in your head?”