Category Archives: Personal Responsibility

Leadership is a Gift

In The Art of Possibility by Benjamin and Rosamund Stone Zander we find:

Today was exceptional in that I learned leadership is not a responsibility-nobody has to lead. It’s a gift, shining silver, that reminds people huddled nearby why each shimmering moment matters. It’s in the eyes, the voice, this swelling song that warms up from the toes and tingles with endless possibilities. Things change when you care enough to grab whatever you love, and give it everything.

–Amanda Burr, student at the Walnut Hill School

I have been known to think – and write:

Everyone is a leader.

and to think of it as a responsibility to develop in ourselves the traits, talents and strengths of our leadership and to share ourselves with the world: to be the change, to lead.

Yet, this young woman, a high school student at a school for the arts, suggests that:

No one has to lead.

We choose. And we choose to give a very precious gift when we lead, especially when we lead by “grabbing whatever we love and giving it everything.” And what we give is the reminder that life itself – each moment – matters.

So why do we hold back,
let those precious moments
when we could be the one stepping up as leader,
pass by?

Do any of these resonate?

  • Not me, I’m not skilled enough
  • Not me, I don’t have time
  • Not me, I did it last time
  • Not me, she could do it so much better
  • Not me, I’m too scared to put myself out there

Out where? Out where you might be seen, where your generosity, courage, willingness might actually change another’s life? How about out in that land of endless possibilities where you might change the course of YOUR life?

Next time – at work, at home, in relationship, crossing the street, wherever you are – when the voice inside says:

Do it. Yes, you. Lend your idea. Engage your heart. Now!

remember… leadership is a choice, a gift to you and to those you impact. In the words of Karen Kimsey-House, Co-Founder and CEO of Coaches Training Institute (CTI), co-author of Co-Active Coaching and Co-Active Leadership:

Jeanne, the world needs leaders now.
Get out of your shit and lead!

What’s stopping you?
What leadership choice can you make now?
What gift is yours to give today?

(*) For a unique, powerful and positive journey into the land of your leadership, check out The Zen Leader and join other women on the journey this fall.


How do you limit yourself with either/or?

Think about it. How often do you fixate on “the way” or “the right choice”? When you know like this, do you notice that you can quickly list all the reasons why “this” is right and “that” is wrong? This way of thinking can drive a wedge between two people in relationship, each of whom thinks they are right and other is wrong. In business this can show up, for example, in one group focusing solely on quality, regardless of price, and the other insisting on cost control.

How do we move beyond these stuck points?

In the third chapter of The Zen LeaderGinny Whitelaw offers a helpful tool to expand our vision when we get stuck in this either/or  mentality. She offers a simple 3-step approach:

  1. See 2
  2. Map 4
  3. Manage the figure 8

I find that even just the first two steps are extremely eye-opening and powerful. Try it for yourself. Call to mind a situation where you know you are right and someone close to you has a different opinion. Draw this simple 4 square diagram:

Replace “MY WAY” and “YOUR WAY” with your dichotomy. Then, start in the upper left-hand quadrant and list all the reasons which positively support “MY WAY”. Proceed to the lower left-hand quadrant and, yes, list all the drawbacks to your way! Now, head on over to the upper right and list all the supporting factors for their way. Yes, you can do this! Now travel down to that lower right, a place you know well, and list the reasons why their way doesn’t stand a chance.

What did you notice?

If that was impossible, I encourage you to share this exercise with the other person(s) involved or with someone who holds the situation differently than you do. Open up and get curious! Be willing to see and hear the expressions from all four quadrants.

Where to from here?

If you value the relationship or the business, you will seek out:

  • the “win/win” that draws from both sides
  • not “mine” or “yours” but something magically different!

Or, you may check out chapter 3 in The Zen Leader and learn about “managing the figure 8”.

What topics lock you in to “either/or”?
Whose perspective do you refuse to see?
What’s possible when you explore the “wrong” way?

(*) If Zen Leadership is peaking your interest, check out:

The Zen Leader book discussions September-November 2017
The Institute for Zen Leadership

Be True to YOU!

When was the last time you paused to wonder:

Who am I?
What really matters to ME?
Am I being true to myself?

Some of you may be thinking, “How selfish!” There is too much good work to do in this life to worry about what matters to me. There are so many less fortunate than me and my job is to give what they need.

Will you stay with me awhile to explore this? Continue reading Be True to YOU!

Speaking My Truth

I came to this day and my usual morning self-connection with an intention to connect with you – a plan. Yet, when I sat down to write, I noticed that I really didn’t know what I’d write about. So, why am I writing? What is the purpose anyway?

How often is your life a series of tasks, plans carried out without a connection to the purpose, the intention for the action? Can it be different? What if it was?
Continue reading Speaking My Truth