Where are you a people-pleaser?

I’ve done more harm by the falseness of trying to please than by the honesty of trying to hurt. ~ Jessamyn West, writer

This quotation hit me today as I was about to journal. It seems to speak to the codependency so many suffer from. This “trying to please” isn’t about doing something kind; rather, it is about changing “me” so as not to displease “you”. Jessamyn suggests that this form of hurting others is far more pervasive than intending to cause harm “honestly”. For example: Continue reading “Where are you a people-pleaser?”

“Come From” Energy

WARNING: Today’s topic is meant to wake you up – jar you a bit – invite you into a deeper level of responsibility for how you show up in the world. Proceed with courage!

Think about a time when you have done something you didn’t want to, perhaps resentfully or grudgingly. Or, recall a time when you were physically present but emotionally and spiritually, perhaps even mentally, “out to lunch”. Or, what about those times when your reason for doing “it” was all about what you would gain – perhaps business or recognition? If it weren’t for the benefits, you so would NOT be there! 

Now, think about a time when you’ve been with someone else whose energy was at a disconnect from their “good” actions. Continue reading ““Come From” Energy”

Do you have a Korean tour guide in your head?

Recently, some American journalists traveled to North Korea and were assigned a tour guide for the duration of the visit. The guide denied many of their requests for sightseeing and talking with the locals. They were forced to spend much of their time in the hotel!

It occurred to me that, at times in my life, I have had a “Korean tour guide” living in my head, telling me things like:

You can’t … because it’s not allowed.
Don’t go there, it’s not safe.

Don’t do that, you’ll fail.
Don’t ask questions.

Many such messages began as well-meant guidance from parents, teachers and loved ones. I heeded them and they protected me. As time wore on, however, Continue reading “Do you have a Korean tour guide in your head?”

Just a reminder: Beginner’s Mind

As many of you return to work following the Labor Day weekend, or to school following summer break, I’d like to invite you into an idea that could transform your experience of your coworkers, employees, students and most of all YOU and your life. The idea may already be known to you but it is ever and always worth revisiting:  Beginner’s Mind. Wikipedia offers us this definition:

 In Zen Buddhism, Shoshin or beginner’s mind refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner would.

How often do you go to the office eager and open,
or enter a conversation ready to learn?

Continue reading “Just a reminder: Beginner’s Mind”