In case you hadn’t realized it, life has a HUGE component around “choice”. There is great freedom (and, yes, responsibility) in becoming aware of the choices we have and moving from old default behaviors or the victim stance to making personal, empowered choices.
Sometimes the hardest thing is believing we actually have a choice in the matter. Have you ever said things like: “That’s just what Moms do.” or “I could never let him down.” or “I have to do that.”? Or, what if the challenging situation is at work and your supervisor just gave you a task you absolutely don’t want to complete. No, you cannot say, “I really don’t want to do that. Can I do something else?” Choice? Yes. Just the fact that you are speaking with her says that you are choosing to be employed, choosing to receive the paycheck. You are choosing to do work which supports you and your family.
The next time you feel trapped or realize you are in the midst of something you really don’t want to experience, dare to stop and ask:
What options do I have?
Who (or which voice in my head) says I have to?
What about this choice feels right?
What am I willing to risk to choose differently?
In the end, you may proceed with your original choice – or not!
Does it feel any different – knowing that it is a choice?