Posted on

What’s the opposite?

challengesahead4by6

Think about it. With just about anything we hold dear, anything we do or feel, even how we do what we do, there is always an opposite:

Waking and Sleeping
Moving and Stillness
Speaking and Silence
Accepting and Rejecting
Loving and Hating
Trusting and Doubting

And, we have a default way of being, the way we usually approach the activity, the conversation, the day before us. Many of us move through life acting unconsciously, reacting based on well worn habits.

Today, consider practicing the opposite of one of your well worn habits:

  • If you usually move quickly from activity to activity, barely pausing to catch your breath, try taking 1-5 minutes in between activities to shift gears, stop your mental chatter and notice: How do you feel? What was precious about the activity just ending? What do you need in order to feel good about moving into the next one?
  • If your default is to say nothing in group meetings, to hide out and just observe, practice speaking up, sharing your opinion.  How do others respond? How does it feel to speak up?
  • If your habit in the grocery store (or out for a walk or in the airport) is to keep your head down, getting the job done as quickly as possible, noticing no one around you, try opening your heart and your eyes and saying hello to each person you pass. What does it feel like to connect with people?

Change things up! Let yourself notice the endless variety that is always around you.

What is Life offering you now?
What have you been missing out on?
What opposite will expand your world?

Posted on

Old Stories

How often do you tell yourself “old stories” – those messages we give ourselves which usually begin like:

“I can’t do that …”
“That never works for me because …”
“If I do that, then …”
“That will make me feel …”

Such stories most often project negative outcomes. To avoid the undesirable result, we avoid the action.

One of my most overused “old stories” is around evening commitments. When I face multiple evening commitments in a row, my story is “If I do all of these, I’ll be tired, won’t have enough down time, get overwhelmed, …” That old story could keep me from time with friends, activities which will be entertaining, and just maybe some really good times! What if they energized me? What if I learned that I need less down time? What if they opened my eyes to new possibilities?

What old story are you rehashing?
In what ways are you limiting yourself?
What rewrite is possible?

Posted on

Real or Nice?

Today’s bit is not new to me but I recently heard it again and if feels good to share. Do you find yourself “being nice” at times, rather than “being real”?

What causes you to choose “nice”?
When does the choice serve you?
When doesn’t it?

The sub-statement in what I read this week hit me and went like this:

My biggest fear is that everyone I know will be in the same room at the same time and I won’t know who to be.

What part of that statement is true for you? Which situations or relationships cause you to distort or silence yourself? Which situations or relationships cause you to say YES when you mean NO or vice versa?

Now what will you do with what you know?

Posted on

Choice

In case you hadn’t realized it, life has a HUGE component around “choice”. There is great freedom (and, yes, responsibility) in becoming aware of the choices we have and moving from old default behaviors or the victim stance to making personal, empowered choices.

Sometimes the hardest thing is believing we actually have a choice in the matter. Have you ever said things like: “That’s just what Mom’s do.” or “I could never let him down.” or “I have to do that.”?

The next time you feel trapped or realize you are in the midst of something you really don’t want to experience, dare to stop and ask:

What options do I have?
Who (or which voice in my head) says I have to?
What about this choice feels right?
What doesn’t?
What am I willing to risk to choose differently?

 In the end, you may proceed with your original choice – or not!

Does it feel any different – knowing that it is a choice?

Posted on

Do you suffer from Multipotentiality?

Do you have many interests? Many talents and skills? Have difficulty choosing what to focus on now? Recently I heard a great TEDx talk where Emilie Wapnick described multipotentiality, a word I’d never heard before:

And it resonated! Personally, I have followed passions around computer programming, songwriting, making music with voice, guitar, keyboard and flute, deep friendships, leadership, family, personal development, spirituality, health and well-being, life coaching. I’ve changed careers. And here I am writing to you! Some days, I wonder:

Who am I?
What should I do today?

As a life coach, I invite you to dig deep and identify personal values, discern what brings fulfillment, discover passion or calling and head toward it!

Yet, that can be a very hard thing to do!

Especially if, like me, you have too many passions to choose from!

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to! Especially in this fast paced, ever changing world we live in, it is quite likely that you will need to change direction numerous times throughout your lifetime. Even if you don’t change discipline as I did from technology to life coaching, your chosen area of interest or passion will probably be expressed in ever changing ways.

Are you a multipotentialite? If so, embrace it! Celebrate all the ways you are able to show up and contribute to life, be creative, earn a living, play!

And when it feels like too much, or you struggle to make a decision about where to focus, ask yourself:

What is calling to me now?
What can wait?
What must I put on hold for now?
What path might incorporate multiple interests?
What, if done first, paves the way for something else?

Finally, breathe! Release the struggle. Remember that you can always change your mind. Above all else, whatever you choose for now, focus. You really can’t do two things at once. Multipotentiality is real. Multitasking – not so much!