HAVE-DO-BE or BE-DO-HAVE in relationship?

Often we desire to have “something” and do what it takes to get “it”. Once we have “it”, we be with it:

Have – Do – Be

Yesterday, it occurred to me how this may not work in relationships. I want to have a healthy, happy, joyful, loving relationship so I go looking to get it. Once I have it, I am happy in it.

Consider this shift:

Be – Do – Have

If I desire that healthy, happy, joyful, loving relationship then my first step is to be  the happy, joyful, loving person who does things that reflect that happy, joyful, loving person I am. From there, my partner in relationship, who has received happy, joyful, love can’t help but reciprocate at which point I have a happy, joyful, loving relationship, yes?

Over-simplified? Perhaps. But:

Where might you choose to BE first?
What do you notice when you do?

What is YOUR wisdom?