Whether you are a parent, teacher, manager, leader, friend – if you ever find yourself supporting, mentoring, guiding, coaching other human beings – this message is for you.
Before you offer your advice, your ideas, your wisdom, stop and ask yourself:
What do I most want for this person?
Not “What do I want them to do or be for my sake?” but, rather, “What do I want for them?” See them through the lens of their whole life, as amazing potential, as pure possibility. See them as capable, creative, able to make powerful, positive decisions for themselves. See them as someone you care deeply about, desiring their success, happiness, independence, joy and love in this lifetime.
Now, imagine being in their position and ask yourself:
- What do I desire?
- What message would connect me to my innate abilities?
- What would help me act from personal integrity?
- What would help me take responsibility for my impact?
- What I want for me is …
From this wider view, reconsider your advice, your message of support. Consider instead a message with connection and acknowledgment at its core.
I notice you struggling with …
What I most want for you is …
What I know is that you are …
What I see in you is …
How can I support you now?