What takes you out of your game?

Earlier today, despite a great night’s sleep and an easy morning ahead, I noticed my attitude toward the day slipping. I was quickly losing joy, excitement, positivity and purpose. What was going on? I paused to notice physical discomfort, pain in my body. I have learned that pain takes me out of my game. Pain takes my thoughts to fear, to frustration that I can’t do everything I may want to do. Pain is one thing that takes me out of love and into fear, negativity and bondage.

What takes you out of your game?

When we are taken out, we have a choice to make. We can intervene and redirect – or not. I most often choose to intervene. How? By focusing on things, actions, thoughts, attitudes which are restorative and which lift my spirits. For me, those things include gratitude, delight, nature, experiencing timelessness, a short walk, meditation, play or calling to mind those I love or who love me.

What restores you and lifts your spirits?

Take the time to answer those questions. The next time you sense yourself riding the slippery slope out of your game, consult your lists.

What is taking me out?
What step am I able to take now to reverse the ride?
What will I choose?

For the love of money …

What do you do for the love of money? Do you work long, hard hours because you love money?

I bet you don’t. I’m guessing that what you love – or appreciate – are the things that money can buy (as well as some things it can’t buy!):

  • A comfortable home
  • Family vacations
  • Good food and your health club membership
  • Education for you or your children

And the list could go on. The next time your thoughts and energy go toward:

  • I don’t want to go to work or do this particular task
  • My boss is a real SOB
  • I want to quit

or wherever else you go when you are unhappy with what it takes to bring home a paycheck, consider the deeper “why”. Call to mind, heart and spirit the reason you are there and practice:

I willingly do this for the sake of –>
the children I love
or health
or security
or …

Then, take it one step further. Bring the energy and attitude of love for your children or the value you place on health and security to the task at hand.

What if I worked with the energy of love, of play, of gratitude?

When Life Strikes …

I’ve recently been called away from “life as usual”, called to travel many miles to be with family. Three and a half days away from home, away from the things that I do here – everything from daily self-care practices to mowing, laundry, bills, watering the flowers. Add the packing and unpacking that a trip calls for and the net impact is that there is more on the “to-do list” today than can possibly get done.

At times like these, my mind tends to switch into over-drive and absolutely wants to be in control, at the wheel of my human vehicle.

Does this ever happen to you?
Do you ever feel behind even when you haven’t been away?

I’m guessing there are many YESes out there to both of these questions. I’d like to suggest a few simple steps that work for me:

  • Pause. Breathe. Stop long enough for your mind to stop spinning on to-do’s and your body to relax. The degree to which this is difficult or impossible is very telling. The harder it is – the more I need it!
  • From this still place, notice that all is well even as nothing “out there” is getting done.
  • From this still place, notice also that what IS getting “done” is you slowing down and honoring your human vehicle – body, mind and spirit.
  • From this still place, ask and listen gently for the answers:

What does my physical body need?
What does my emotional body need?
What does my spiritual body need?

Commit to some action(s) that will honor what you hear. Only then, continue:

What MUST be done today? (careful, MUST, not *should*)
What can wait?
What really need never be done?

Let me give you an idea what is happening for me today:

  • From the stillness, I know without a doubt that my physical, emotional and spiritual bodies must be honored. I dare not push through and get to the doing without stretching and movement, emotional ease, and a connection to the spiritual truths which guide me.
  • The must be done items include preparing for my clients and truly being present with them. For me this means that I must be centered and at ease and energetically available, all of which imply some self-care MUST happen! Even if I hadn’t chosen to honor physical/emotional/spiritual bodies earlier, I would have heard the call here!
  • Another kind of MUST happen today item are activities where others are depending on me – like preparation for a group meeting that I choose not to cancel.
  • Yet another MUST for today is the likes of grocery shopping, critical items only, so that proper nourishment for my physical being can happen.

What can wait? Mowing the lawn, dress clothes to the cleaners, e-mail that arrived during my time away from friends who are not in crisis, putting up pictures that have been sitting on the floor for two weeks, laundry. You get the idea!

What need never happen? While today I didn’t put anything into this category, often I do. There are ideas which “seemed good at the time” that didn’t materialize and the time has passed. When I allow gentleness to guide me, some things just don’t ever get done. And that is SO okay!

The next time life strikes, dare to be with its impact differently. Dare to step away and pause, then choose with intention what does – and does not – get done.

The WE Effect

How often do your words sound like:

  • I am afraid …
  • I don’t want to …
  • I can’t …
  • I did …
  • I want …

What would happen if you replaced “I” with “WE”?

First, take a look at “WE”:

  • (W)onder (E)verywhere
  • (W)isdom (E)volving
  • (W)oven (E)nergy

Truly we never do anything alone, do we? Take a look around and find something in your personal space that you did without assistance from anyone’s time, ideas, help. The computer I am typing on, the software I am using, the chair that supports me, the ideas that I share … all have come from or been inspired by other inspired human beings.

When I acknowledge the WE that I am ever connected to, I find:

  • I am afraid … WE are less afraid or perhaps even not afraid!
  • I don’t want to … WE see value beyond my little “I”
  • I can’t … WE can do so much more together!
  • I did … “WE did” brings humility and connection
  • I want … WE often want less and usually want what serves the greater whole

What power would the WE Effect have for you?

Beware the advice you give!

telling-off

Okay … as a life coach I VERY rarely give advice. But in the course of coaching someone, the two of us seek to discover practices, commitments, exercises which will deepen their learning between coaching sessions. And it no longer surprises me how pertinent their practices are for my well-being!

Do you listen to what you tell others, what you advise for them?
Do you pay attention to the advice in your thoughts even when it wisely goes unspoken? 

If not, try listening to yourself. Often we are only subconsciously aware of what we most need to hear. These subconscious thoughts come out more readily when they are for someone else! The next time you give advice, listen up! And the next time you need some and no one is around, try this:

What would I tell someone else?