Category: Personal Responsibility

For part 3 around the topic of listening, I have an invitation for you. First, if you missed the first two posts, check out:

How do you listen?

Then, today’s question is: Who listens to YOU in this deep and present way? Who in your life practices the kind of keep listening that you’ve been giving to others? Who do you know who would practice deeper listening if they believed they could make the time for it?

If you can’t think of anyone who has listened deeply to you, consider who might be willing to give you the gift of being heard. Then, pass along this message with your request. Realize that you may get “No” for an answer and be ready to ask someone else! Know, too, that everyone – including you – deserves to be heard.

What does it feel like to be deeply heard and understood?
What is the gift of deep listening?

A recent post was titled: Do You Listen? If you have discovered that you are missing out on the richness of life and relationships because you aren’t really listening and you are ready to make some changes, then let’s get started. Consider choosing one or two trusted and ongoing relationships in your life and practice:

• Get curious! Assume nothing from your own experience and instead ask questions like “What was that really like for you?” to help you understand the experience from their perspective.
• Imagine you were breathing in and out of your heart and listening from there. Take your head out of the conversation and let your body, emotion, spirit be fully connected to the other.
• Be aware of the energy, inflection, emotion, pace of the words being spoken. What do they tell you about the message?
• Notice what is not being said. What are they afraid to say or disconnected from? If it feels right, ask about it.

For a fun way of being with the art of listening, check out this song:

I Listen Well (lyrics and recording) 

What is present when you REALLY listen?

 

“People don’t listen to understand. They listen to reply. The collective monologue is everyone talking and no one listening.”

Stephen Covey

Today I invite you to be with a form of this message from the late, Stephen Covey. First, personalize it like this:

“I don’t listen to understand. I listen to reply. In my conversations, everyone is talking and no one is listening.”

Then, walk through the conversations of your days, the relationships – intimate and casual, professional and not – and ask yourself:

What is true for me?
Where do I not listen?

From there, ask:

What am I missing out on?
What am I ready to change?