Another noticing today … and this one may resonate with some of you – or not! And I will let that be okay. Here goes. I find it very difficult, with but one exception, to do something that is just for me. The exception is taking care of my physical body. I passionately exercise, eat well, stretch, sleep … in ways that honor my body.
Everything else? Hard.
It is hard to play the piano, just for me. It is hard to take a class, just for me. It is hard to get a massage ’cause it’s just for me.
It is easy to make time for you, or practice the piano to play for you, or do artwork that has a purpose: for you.
If you can relate … what’s this about?
For me, it is a very old message about service that I learned in childhood. I want to be ready to change the message. Yet even as I write that, I hear a new message in my head that says: “There must be a reason why doing stuff for me is also good for you!” Really? Give me a break!
Must all my actions in this life be in service of something greater?
I have written lots about how taking care of “me” is good for “you”. And I know that to be true. Whether by example, or by allowing you to take care of you, or simply by being in a better mood because I’ve taken care of me, there are many reasons why healthy self-care benefits “you”.
Yet today I wonder:
Is it okay to do something “just for me”?
What can make this register as “okay” in my brain?
What if it isn’t a question for my brain?
To be continued …