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Just for me … continued

Yesterday’s post:

Just for me …

ended with:

Is it okay to do something “just for me”?
What can make this register as “okay” in my brain?
What if it isn’t a question for my brain?

LyneesFlower

Today, returning to those questions, my heart – and my soul – immediately knew what I needed to hear. It isn’t a new message, rather one I obviously have a hard time remembering! But for this moment, I remember and I’d like to share it with you. As always, take what you like, make it your own and leave the rest!

We – you, me and every other being on planet Earth – even Mother Earth herself – we are one. We are united, interconnected. We are not separate beings. We are Spirit-God-Source-Universe manifest as me, as you, as tree, as mountain lion. We are this thing called Life.

If that is true – if I believe it to be true (and I do) – then:

Just for ME == Just for WE

What I do to me, for me, as me impacts the greater WE. If I do something nice for me, WE benefit. If I do something ill toward me, if I treat my body or mind or heart poorly, WE are pained.

If this message holds truth, then it is important that each of us practice conscious and respectful Just for me sometimes.

What would a little “just for me” look like today?

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Just for me …

Another noticing today … and this one may resonate with some of you – or not! And I will let that be okay. Here goes. I find it very difficult, with but one exception, to do something that is just for me. The exception is taking care of my physical body. I passionately exercise, eat well, stretch, sleep … in ways that honor my body.

Everything else? Hard.

It is hard to play the piano, just for me. It is hard to take a class, just for me. It is hard to get a massage ’cause it’s just for me. 

It is easy to make time for you, or practice the piano to play for you, or do artwork that has a purpose: for you.

If you can relate … what’s this about?

For me, it is a very old message about service that I learned in childhood. I want to be ready to change the message. Yet even as I write that, I hear a new message in my head that says: “There must be a reason why doing stuff for me is also good for you!” Really? Give me a break!

Must all my actions in this life be in service of something greater?

I have written lots about how taking care of “me” is good for “you”. And I know that to be true. Whether by example, or by allowing you to take care of you, or simply by being in a better mood because I’ve taken care of me, there are many reasons why healthy self-care benefits “you”.

Yet today I wonder:

Is it okay to do something “just for me”?
What can make this register as “okay” in my brain?
What if it isn’t a question for my brain?

To be continued …

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The Lost Art of Being

This morning, I lit candles, poured coffee, sat down, got out my journal and began to write.  I became aware that the environment said, “notice me”, while my actions were too busy to take it in.

So I stopped. Took in a deep breath. Then another.

I almost went back to writing. Somehow just being present to the moment, the space, was a big challenge.

What happens when you stop and be?

When I finally allowed myself to breathe and observe and be, just be, I noticed an underlying judgment:

I am wasting precious time.

Bam! That old tape is still there. Now I don’t really believe that anymore. But I obviously have a ways to go in the practice of BE first, DO from BEING!

Setting the judgement aside, I returned to just being and began to notice what was around me.  I noticed the many people who have blessed my life and whose gifts are here in this room. Just being allowed me to feel their presence. Tears of connection and appreciation filled me. My heart swelled. Wasting time? I think not.

What about you? What happens when you:

  • stop, breathe and be present to what is?
  • stop, breathe and really be with the person in front of you?
  • stop, breathe and fully immerse your attention in “just this”?

What will happen when the lost art of being returns?

 

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Fully Alive?

It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment, or the courage, to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover, and yet demand no easy return of love. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the pain of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying. — Morris West, The Shoes of the Fisherman

TheShoesOfTheFisherman

As I typed and reread the quote just now, I realize there is a LOT there to digest. My suspicion is that some of you want to run away from being fully alive if this is what it means! Others of you find certain pieces of the quote resonant. I am pausing in this moment with this piece:

One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms.

Security for me in this context includes:

  • knowing that I’ll “succeed” and “you” will like and appreciate my offering
  • knowing that I’ll have the energy to do “it” when the time comes
  • knowing that I won’t make a fool of myself
  • knowing …

Reaching out to the risk of living with both arms includes:

  • letting go of the crutches of over-planning, over-practicing, perfectionistic tendencies and trusting my heart to lead
  • letting go of concern or worry about what you’ll think of me
  • letting go of my definition of “success” and allowing “failure” to show up
  • letting go of the need to know and trusting I’ll have what I need when I need it
  • letting go …

Perhaps you are drawn to a different piece of the quotation. So I ask you:

What resonates in you?
What does it mean to you?

How might these ideas render you more FULLY ALIVE?

 

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Open your mind …

Spiritual teacher, Adyashanti, speaks about opening your mind so it is vast enough to include anything. In this way, we aren’t knocked off balance when “life hits”. Think about it:

  • When our mind wants things a certain way
  • When we operate under a strict set of rules for right and wrong
  • When “a good day” must include: a great night’s sleep, the kids getting themselves up and ready without a fight, gas in the tank, colleagues at work in a good mood, etc…

Then, when anything goes awry, we are likely to get upset, lose our serenity, lash out. Imagine instead your mind so vast that you include it all – the kids being kids, the colleagues in a rough spot, the gas tank on empty because someone else didn’t fill it. Nothing that happens can be so large that it disrupts your inner peace, balance, sanity. When “it” happens, you say, “Oh, this too. Okay.”

Try it. Try practicing “this too” whenever something unforeseen shows up today. Maybe even try letting go of your definition of a “good” day or a ” bad” day. Just this day. Just this task. Just this.

What fits when your mind is wide open?