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HAVE-DO-BE or BE-DO-HAVE in relationship?

Often we desire to have “something” and do what it takes to get “it”. Once we have “it”, we be with it:

Have – Do – Be

Yesterday, it occurred to me how this may not work in relationships. I want to have a healthy, happy, joyful, loving relationship so I go looking to get it. Once I have it, I am happy in it.

Consider this shift:

Be – Do – Have

If I desire that healthy, happy, joyful, loving relationship then my first step is to be  the happy, joyful, loving person who does things that reflect that happy, joyful, loving person I am. From there, my partner in relationship, who has received happy, joyful, love can’t help but reciprocate at which point I have a happy, joyful, loving relationship, yes?

Over-simplified? Perhaps. But:

Where might you choose to BE first?
What do you notice when you do?

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Alphabet Guidance

This morning, I noticed one of my gremlins present. A haze of depression was trying to get me to believe that all was not well, something was very wrong, and I’d better figure it out and correct it!

And I chose not to go there.

Instead, I took a deep breath, embraced the message that one of my inner saboteur voices was active, and said, “Hello Depression. I hear you and I know that your message is not my deepest truth.”

Then, I proceeded to play a word game which I share with you now. From D for depression, I proceeded to find other truths:

D for Dancing
E for Energy
F for Flexibility and Friendship
G for Godliness

I worked my way up to O for my Open Mind and Heart and realized that my inner being had shifted and Depression was no longer in control.

What would Alphabet Guidance show you?

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Simplicity

“If thee needs anything and cannot find it, just come to me
and I’ll tell thee how to get along without it.” Etta May (Quaker)

How much time and energy goes to:

  • finding what we can’t live without
  • insisting on the”only” way even when it’s not working
  • acquiring the next thing that is a must have

What possibilities would open up if we greeted every block, every challenge, with simplicity? Today, try on:

What is the simple solution?
What can I let go of now?

What will I find in “less”?

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Are You Present?

I am just back from guiding a yoga class with the intention of being fully present to what showed up in and around me, an intention of being in the experience, not doing it. Yet, it took 17 minutes (of 30) to realize that I had not made the clock available to my eyes.

While you could suggest that if I was fully present and in the flow, I would just know when our time was up…

True perhaps. But the point for now is this:

Are you DOING tasks, checking them off the list?
Or are you BEING PRESENT to the moments, fully engaged?

When I am fully PRESENT, I am aware, alive, centered. Life – and the activities I participate in – flow with ease. When I am DOING the tasks on the list, there is often little satisfaction, pause, awareness of impact.

Take a minute. Or take five deep breaths. Or close your eyes and turn within. Notice the you that has been DOING.

What are you present to?
What presence will you bring to the next task?

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How do you prepare yourself?

I noticed something today … and am sharing it from a place of full disclosure, albeit a bit uncomfortable. Before I meet with clients or women’s groups or find myself as a front of the room leader, I prepare. Preparations include meditation, grounding, clearing emotional clutter, opening my being to be with and to receive “you” fully.

When the activity ahead is something different like writing, preparing a workshop handout, organizing my notes … not directly engaging with people, I often skip the preparation and shift into human doing mode.

Why does it matter?

If everything is energy, then the handouts, writings, notes will have an energetic impact on the world. Imagine the impact they will have when they are created from

  • tired, stressed, bored
  • centered, energized, engaged

Which works do YOU want to use?
What energy will you create FROM next time?
Which version of creation will nourish you, the creator?